Alone
Always and forever alone
Surrounded in an ocean of echoes
Alone
At school, alone
Friendly faces that disappeared behind closed doors
Voices that never reached my ears to my home
Family, alone
Yelling, disappointment, crying
Alone
Online, alone
Rejected, abandoned, ignored
Alone
By myself
Dysphoria, self hatred
Alone
Seeking help, companionship, a friend
Seeking to not be…
Alone
Him
Him
Kindness
Tender voice
A hand reaching through the darkness
Wiping my tears
"You're a little lost bird"
I wasn't alone
Not with him
With him
Him
A friend
"Your voice is so pretty, you know?"
Kindness
Affirmation
"Good girl"
Acceptance
"Feel my arms around you"
Snap
Warmth
Comfort
Not alone
With him
"You're mine"
I belonged somewhere
"All mine"
Is this
Love?
Years come and go
People leave
He stayed
"I'm all you need"
All I needed
Him
Him
Him
Him
Him him him him him him him Him him him him him
Him him him him
Him him him
Him him
Him
Him
Everything else melts away
"Smile for me"
Snap
Happy
"You're crying, let's stop that"
Snap
"That's not good for you. Let's find something else to do"
Snap
"I love you. You love me"
Snap
Him
Is this
Love?
Not alone
Not with him
"Feel my arms around you"
Snap
His touch
His arms
His hands
All over
Hands hands hands
On my head
On my legs
On my arms
In my mind
Reaching inside of me
I smile
Because he tells me to
I'm happy
Because he says so
I love him
Because nobody else does
Does he really
Make me?
Or is it
Real?
Is this
Love?
I cry
And then feel his hands
Comforting
Wiping tears
Stretching my face into a smile
Through the tears I'm happy
His hands make me happy
His words make me happy
Happy
Safe
Warm
Is it bad to be told to be happy?
As long as I'm happy
And he's happy
He's all that matters
The only one in the world
Is it because
He told me?
No
He was there for me
Right?
Is this
Love?
When I'm upset
The hands grip tighter
When he's upset
The hands grip tighter
Taking the darkness
And pulling it out of me
All that's left
Is happy
I'm happy
Because of him
Him
Not alone
Not with him